By Stephanie Long
I got so used to
writing formula Jesus,
I forgot how
to write the truth.
I got so used to
wrapping him in a bow,
I forgot he
can’t be contained.
I got so used to
cleaning him up,
I forgot he
lives in the mess.
I got so used to
pray, read your Bible, give, serve,
I forgot a relationship
is not a checklist.
So goodbye formula Jesus
a figment of our creation,
and hello better Jesus
who loves the ones we hate.
But first, I have to do the hard work of healing.
I keep thinking that I'm good. But I've discovered that previous seasons of counseling and attempts at healing have been like putting a tourniquet on a bleeding arm. Sure it stops the bleeding, but if you don't remove the tourniquet and deal with the bleeding, eventually your arm will die.
When I first saw Kate Middleton in that red dress, carrying her baby, walking in those HEELS just hours after giving birth, I had a moment of “Damn, I didn’t look like that hours after giving birth.”
And I keep seeing social media posts with “real women” comparing their post birth photos to Kate’s. Some are jealous of her. Some are judging her. I’ve seen lots of people with the same attitude I had at first. We have this gut reaction that says, “That’s not what women look like after giving birth.”
And we’re right, kind of. Women don’t naturally look like that after giving birth. And we shouldn’t be expected to. Kate Middleton is a real woman, and she shouldn’t be subjected to that bullshit either.
This shouldn’t have to be stated, but unfortunately it does. Transgender people are not a caricature. They are not a stereotype. They are not a political pawn. And they are not a threat to you or your values. They are human. Just. Like. You.
Imagine feeling homesick in your own body. Imagine having to fight for your God-given right to be who you are and be treated with dignity. Imagine walking into a restaurant with fear about whether you will be served. Imagine holding your pee as long as possible, or running home to use the bathroom, because you don’t know if you will be violently attacked for doing the extremely human function of relieving yourself. Imagine not being able to get lifesaving medical care because a doctor refuses to touch you. Imagine believing that if you live as your authentic self, you will never be able to realize your dreams.
Do you ever feel like your drowning, and you can't quite make it up for air? Me too. In fact, the last year and a half has been that feeling on repeat. Every time I managed to get my head above the water, something else would pull me down again.
That's why I'm so grateful for the grace of the opportunity to read an advanced copy of Steve Austin's new book Catching Your Breath: The Sacred Journey From Chaos to Calm. Y'all I am not exaggerating when I say the raw honesty and practical real life solutions in this book touched my soul in a deep and unexpected way. Steve gets it. I'm not alone. And neither are you.
