rape culture

10 Specific Things to Teach Our Boys About Sex and Consent

10 Specific Things to Teach Our Boys About Sex and Consent

Now before some of you try to tell me you don’t need to teach your kids about consent because you’re teaching them to wait to have sex until marriage, let me just bust that myth for you. 

First, consent still 100% matters in marriage. Second, statistically, your kids are pretty likely to have sex before marriage no matter what you teach them. If they do, you want them to doing it consensually and not raping people. Sticking your head in the sand, and saying, “Not my child” is not helping anyone. Third, your child may find themselves in a situation where they need to exercise their right to say, “No,” you need to teach them about that right.

Church Language Can Affect Rape Culture for Good or Bad — Part 1

Church Language Can Affect Rape Culture for Good or Bad — Part 1

Gather around Church, we need to talk. Perhaps we should grab some coffee and sit down because this is going to get uncomfortable.

We need to talk about the way we talk about sex, modesty, and women’s roles and the message we send to both women and men. I don’t want to talk about the importance of waiting until marriage for sex. I don’t want to argue about whether we should dress modestly (and what the heck that even means). And I don’t want to have the complementarian vs. egalitarian debate about women’s roles.

Actually I do want to talk about all of those things, but not today. Another time, with another coffee. 

Today I want to talk about the implications of our language. 

Rape Culture: A Primer for Fathers (From Father Steve Neu)

Rape Culture: A Primer for Fathers (From Father Steve Neu)

Dads, it’s time to talk about Rape Culture. Today’s society has inherited several attitudes about men and women from centuries of inertia, and these mindsets all add up to a scary situation for women everywhere. It affects women at work and on the street in the form of harassment. It even opens the door to heinous crimes in churches, ministries and Christian communities. Even men who have no intention of hurting women can perpetuate these threats by inaction; however, by action you can help put a stop to it. Whether you have sons or daughters (or both), you have a part to play.

So what’s the scoop on rape culture? Maybe you’ve heard this term and don’t know quite what it means. Maybe your children have heard it and asked you. Maybe you have a general idea, but it just seems so huge! Maybe your first impression of the concept came from a misogynist. Whatever the case, here’s your primer. I’ll define it as best I can, then I’ll give some ideas and resources.

What Would Jesus Say to the Woman Who Has Been Raped?

What Would Jesus Say to the Woman Who Has Been Raped?

We've been talking a lot about rape culture lately on the blog, and we are going to be talking more about it this week and into next week. We've talked about what it is and isn't, ways we unintentionally participate in it, and what not to say to a victim of abuse or rape. 

I realize that this is a difficult topic, and some of you reading this have probably been raped or assaulted, or know someone who has. So I want to share here something I wrote for NewSpring Church's blog because I believe Jesus wants you to know that you are not alone, it's not your fault, you are valuable, and there are communities of believers who will walk through this with you.

6 Things to NEVER Say to a Victim of Abuse

6 Things to NEVER Say to a Victim of Abuse

Victims are often silenced by their abuser with threats and intimidation—scaring girls into further trauma and forcing them to stay silent about what happened to them. 

Following abuse, trauma, rape, or assault family and friends often don’t know what to say and end up saying really, really stupid things (in an effort to make them feel better) that end up being hurtful and painful for the victim. 

I say, ENOUGH. Enough victim blaming. Enough trying to lessen the reality of a victim's experience. Enough silencing them. Enough shaming then. Enough humiliating them. Enough stupid questions and comments.